Meet My Husband Part II

Yes, my husband is in a wheelchair.

I have never seen my husband stand.

I sat beside my husband when we said our wedding vows.

I can not believe the dear and sweet comments I have received from so many of you after my last post.  I am so touched and amazed.  I am no different than any of you - you would do the same thing.  So many of you deal with harder things than my family every day.  I have been amazed and encouraged by your grace, strength and faith as you blog about your days.  Thank YOU!

Jillian, Inc asked how we met, and she must have read my mind, because that was going to be the Part II of my blog.  My students asked as well!  Here we go...

Mike is my second husband.  (My first marriage was an emotional nightmare.  Don't have to elaborate...)  We met (you probably will stop following me after this) on Match.com (didn't tell the students that part!) when a friend told me I "was too cute not to be dating anyone".  It's hard to begin again - and where on earth does a nice girl in her 30's with two small children find someone?  Bars are so out of the question.  My church was a very two-parent family type.  So I said, "what the heck" and threw myself in.  I must have written a great description of myself as I never contacted anyone first and went on some very nice dates at only the best restaurants in town.  Anyway, I saw a picture of Mike (very handsome)  and he saw my cute picture LOL.  Next thing I know, we start emailing and talking on the phone for a few weeks.

I noticed his voice was a little slurred when we spoke and was initially a little worried.  (My ex is a NON-recovering alcoholic.)  However, he had such a fun way about him that I was OK.  And we didn't have to meet face-to-face.  Also, he lived in Aiken and I, in Columbia, so I felt there was enough distance.  After a few weeks, he told me he wanted to send me an article that had just been written about him in the local paper.  It was a good article, he told me, but if I never wanted to talk with him again, he would understand.  Of course that made me more than just a little curious as to what it was about. I agreed, and he immediately emailed me a copy.  (It's a pretty long read for a blog, but if you want to see it, I can show you.)  It was about him living (to the fullest) with his "diffability".  After I read it, I actually was relieved:  He WASN'T another alcoholic!  He was just in a wheelchair.  I can deal with that!

That was in March of 2006.  We got married June 2, 2007.  So I guess we are still newlyweds to some of you.  It was a day with not a dry eye.  Small, with only 50 friends and close family.  Sumter and Jackson walked me down the aisle in matching "Palmetto Tuxedos":  navy blue blazers, white shirts, khakis, and (Vineyard Vines) ties.  My uncle performed the Episcopal ceremony in the little Baptist chapel.  It truly is a match made in heaven - for us!  Mike never ever thought he would ever get married.  With all of my baggage as well, who's to say I would have also.  Our road, like all others, is filled with questions, anxieties and uncertainties.  But, like all others, it is also filled with laughter, hope, and faith.

Meet my Husband Part I

Today's math lesson lasted for about 5 minutes in my fourth grade classroom this morning.  It wasn't on purpose.  As a matter of fact, I like geometry (fourth grade geometry, that is!).  I was just a bit frazzled as we were going over homework, and I was telling my students why:  my car battery died this morning and I had to jump it with my husband's.  One of my students asked why my husband didn't help me, and another stated that my husband is is a wheelchair and that maybe he couldn't.   Yes, my husband is in a wheelchair.  (I explained that the real reason he couldn't help me was that he was in the shower.)

Yes, my husband is in a wheelchair.

I have never seen my husband stand.

I sat beside my husband when we said our wedding vows.

For about 30 minutes today, Math turned into a combo Health/Character class.  Health, as I told my students about my husband's condition, and Character, as I described how he, our sons and I live with his disability.  They were wide-eyed and fascinated.  They asked questions about Mike's disability and how he got in the wheelchair.

Mike has a condition known as Freidreich's Ataxia.  In a nutshell, Friedreich's Ataxia is an inherited condition that causes progressive damage to the nervous system resulting in symptoms ranging from gait disturbance and speech problems to heart disease.  Wikipedia really does do a good job describing it in layman's terms.

My husband was a normal kid growing up in Aiken.  He was quite the soccer player, being offered scholarships to small colleges around the southeast.  However, he chose to go to the University of South Carolina because of their business college.  It was there that he began to see signs:  slight dizziness, tripping, and some clumsiness.  He was diagnosed at age 20, started using a walker at age 30, and was finally in a wheelchair at age 37.  A financial engineer at the Savannah River Site, he retired three years ago.

I told my students that even though he has this disability, he leads as much of a normal life as most of us.  He just has to do things differently.  (Thus we like to say he has a "Diffability" as opposed to a disability.)  When we go out, we have to scout out parking places - and we curse all those fat sloths who use their grandmother's handicapped placards and slug themselves into the store!  We have to make sure there are handicapped ramps and doorways when we go to events and parties.  Even a six inch step can be a nightmare.  It's real fun to have Mike's friends and my friend's husbands "bump" him up steps.  That does not stop us from black-tie affairs or other social events.  We just PLAN AHEAD!

"But is it hard on you, Mrs. W.?" one of my students asked me.  Again, it's a "diffability".  No, it's not always easy.  But EVERYONE has something, don't they?

Mike, Jackson and me at the Aiken Steeplechase last spring.