Giving Thanks - Part I

This Thanksgiving will be bittersweet. This year, three people who are important to members of my family won't be here. The boys will not see their biological father. They have not mentioned anything about it, but it has been on my mind. Even though the two of us have had a tumultuous relationship over the past few years, he was still their father. Mike's father won't be here to play the role of patriarch at the family Thanksgiving, always the consummate host. There will be a huge hole in the celebration. And finally, my sweet Muz is celebrating with Jesus and making sure that the Thanksgiving table in Heaven is set "just so"... But she won't be with us, and I know my mother will be so affected.

Even so, I have so much to be thankful for. I've been meaning to write about how God's hand was such a part of those few days from October 4th through the 7th. Days that could possibly only be described by someone as a nightmare. Yet there were so many glimpses of His presence, His Holy Spirit moving among us, His unexpected - and unexplained - gifts and blessing.

Yes, this will be one of Bevy's infamous Two-Parters. As we all are, I'm in the midst of preparations for tomorrow's big feast. But I am excited to be able to share those moments, those obviously Holy (and not it so obvious) moments with you. So later this weekend, I hope to give you an inspiring read.

A Peaceful Road

I don't know about car trips with your children, but mine can get rather harried at times.  Bickering can run rampant between S and J - especially when they can't agree on the DVD to watch.  A three and a half hour trip between our town and Pawleys Island can seem endless.

But this trip home was different.  This photo I found online was titled "A Peaceful Road". 

I had met "Fun Dad" (aka biological father) on Friday to take the boys and myself for a weekend with my parents, sister, and her girls at the beach.  (S and J spent Thanksgiving with his family.)  The weekend was too short as I packed up the boys and myself for the trip back to reality.  Of course none of the headphones worked for the DVD, but instead of whining, my boys found other things to do.  S was engrossed in The Horse and It's Boy, and J played multiplication and spelling games on my Droid.  Reading?  Math?  Spelling?  Yes, and they were content as could be for a good hour or so.  I loved peaking in the rear view mirror at the two of them.  You could just see their minds working.  They were oblivious to the world around them...

Now I know that a good DVD can do the same thing.  Believe me, we have between five and ten of them at any given time in the Odyssey.  But it was the fact that this time, they were not just "plugged up".  They were "plugged in".  And plugged into something that made them better.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but it made me happy.  I can remember reading and working out brainteasers (until I got slightly carsick) on car trips as a child.  It just brought back memories of my childhood.

I was also able to really look outside the window and marvel at the beauty of the trees with their beautiful leaves outside.  I was able to think about the fun the boys had with their cousins, creating their very own USC/Clemson tickets for the Pawleys Island "satellite stadium" before the big game Saturday evening.  I was able to smile as I thought of my short visit with my sweet friend, Laura, at church that morning.  I played car games with S and J, quizzing them on South Carolina and United States history.  I planned with them how we were going to decorate the tree and house over the next few days.  I got excited with them as we talked about their upcoming hunting trips with their grandfather at our cousin's plantation.  We laughed and talked and planned the whole rest of the ride.

And finally, I was able to to see that sometimes the best part of a trip can be the trip home...

Thankful for all the OTHER days

It's too quiet right now. Mike and I are watching the local news while pasta is boiling for the salad I'm taking to the citywide Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow afternoon. The house is almost ready for our family's celebration on Thursday. Our Gratitude Tree is almost full and looks perfect in the breakfast room. And I just need to collect some more leaves and grapevines from the yard to complete the dining room centerpiece. And maybe a bit more polishing of the silver. The house is pretty clean except for one more go of the Dirt Devil over the hardwoods.

But there is one thing missing. The boys are not here. Nor are they ever for Thanksgiving. For them every Thanksgiving is spent with "the other family" (their biological dad and his parents). And I hate it. Every year I hate it more and more. I hate that the boys are shuttled back and forth this holiday. I hate having to work out the visit during the Christmas holidays. I hate that, as they are getting older, they are not as excited as they once were. I hate that they are seeing that their relationship with their dad is really just surface. I hate it for them. And selfishly I hate it for me...

But it also makes me think about how thankful I am. I don't have to wait for holidays or a weekend here and there to spend time with S and J. I wake them up every morning. I tuck them in every night. I share everyday conversations and experiences with them. I watch them do skateboard tricks. I play "horse" with them. I make bets with them (the latest the S can't read the first four Narnia books before The Voyage of the Dawn Treader comes out in theaters). I'm able to be a mom all the time. And I am thankful for all those days... all the other days.
Fall, 2006

Thanksgiving Tree

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week. I have seen all of your lovely autumn decor and have been so impressed. I've never done much in the way of decorating for fall - other than the jack o'lantern on the porch or a few mini gourds, pumpkins, and witches around. And we've never held Thanksgiving at our house. Until NOW.

This year we will have Mike's family (totaling 18) over for Thanksgiving dinner. The venue was changed to our house as it has the best flow for that many people. Thank goodness that I am only responsible for yeast rolls and dessert. However, I want to have something festive on the table. And with Christmas coming earlier and earlier every year, tasteful Thanksgiving decor is all but gone. What to do? I want a pretty table. I need a pretty table. Isn't Thanksgiving all about the table?

Yes... But especially when the centerpiece is one that is all about Thanksgiving - the real meaning: gratitude. I found an idea online that combined the two perfectly. I'm sure you've either seen or made one yourself.

Here is what our "Gratitude Tree" looked like last week.

It is getting more and more leaves every few days as we write those things were are thankful for on them. Beside the tree, I have a basket with cut out leaves, black pens, and raffia. We have been doing this during our family dinner time devotion. A few things listed were our family, God, encouragement, great haircuts and color, my friends, a husband who texts me just to tell me I'm pretty and that he loves me, my wife, a son who helps clean the kitchen, and making each other laugh.

I can't wait to see it in all it's glory...

For the Love of Spoons and Grappling Hooks

I just got off the phone with my oldest son (they will be at Pawley's Island with the grandparents through Sunday), and the first thing out of his mouth was:  "Yes Mom, we used the spoons!"  You are probably wondering what on earth I am talking about, but I thought I would use that to introduce the story of how my first ancestors arrived in our country.  (Beth AKA Social Climbers, you asked for this story! LOL).

Our family is lucky to have four ancestors arrive on the Mayflower.  These Separatists left all they knew in England, traveled to Holland for a few years (bet some of you didn't know that tidbit), and finally left for America. My children and I are descended from John and Joan Tilley (both died the first winter), their daughter Elizabeth, and John Howland.  Elizabeth and John later married in 1625.

But that's not the really amazing story.  This is...

During the Mayflower's voyage, John Howland fell overboard during a storm, and was almost lost in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Luckily, he managed to grab hold of the topsail halyards, giving the crew enough time to rescue him with a grappling hook.  William Bradford, in the falling-overboard incident, refered to Howland as a "lusty young man".  I always have to laugh at that!!!  So... I am very thankful for grappling hooks.  Had John Howland not been rescued, I would not be here!

But what about the spoon?  My parents went to Plymouth Plantation a number of years ago and had the opportunity to visit John Howland's home.  It's the only one still standing.  They also purchased pewter replicas of his spoon for my sister and me, as well as the grandchildren.  All the children love to use the spoons during our own Thanksgiving dinners.

This is the original spoon.  I couldn't take a picture of mine - it's still at the beach!

So here's to you, ten-great grandfather John... and our love of grappling hooks!

One Thanksgiving Table

This year my husband and I are celebrating and giving thanks a little different.  Our boys are spending the holiday with my parents at their beach house this Thanksgiving.  As my husband is (permanently) in a wheelchair, and my parents don't have an elevator, we chose to let the boys go by themselves.  So what did we do?  Don't worry, we are OK!

For the past five years, our town has had an event called One Table.  Our church helps volunteer (I am making Pioneer Woman's macaroni and cheese!) with food and set up.  People of all socio-econonic means attend, both to volunteer and eat.  These are pictures from last year.

I'm putting macaroni and cheese in the oven right now, and giving thanks for my new kitchen and my wonderful oven.  How blessed am I?!?!

I thank God for a home that is large and open so that my husband (a true inspiration and blessing) can maneuver around.  I also thank God that it doesn't just "look like a 'wheelchair accessible' home", but is perfect for us all.  I thank Him for the means that we could build this home.  I thank Him for our family, friends, and faith that help us get through our lives, daily.  I thank my Heavenly Father for all my blessings, those I know and those I am not even aware of.  How great is our God... Let us thank Him.