Power On

When my husband and I were building our house, we were not yet married and I was living a little over an hour away. I would travel every weekend with anticipation to see what had been accomplished the past seven days.  At the beginning, it was quite eventful. First, the foundation...then, studs... next, subflooring... roof... brick. Wow! What progress! How exciting! This was going to be our dream house! Yippee!

And then I arrived one week to NOTHING. Damn. The next week we saw a little electrical wiring, but all in all, NOTHING. Damn, again. The next week, just a little more wiring. And Damn to the third power. What happened? What is going on? We were still paying them. Had they lost their momentum? We were still communicating with them. I want some results... NOW.

Fast forward to today. Most of you know of my Renewing Myself weight loss plan. I am really working the Weight Watchers program. And boy, have I seen results! Until today. Here is what I posted on Facebook this morning.

WTH? I was committed to this. I was empowered. I was woman, hear me roar! So... WTH? I really am a bit depressed about it. Part of me wants to eat the chocolate chip cookie dough that is in the fridge. The other part just wants to starve myself. Yeah, I know, such healthy talk.

But I've just received a comment from a high school friend I haven't seen in over twenty years. In many ways, Hilary and I were as different as night and day - but were so extremely close. And then life happens, and people drift apart to the places and events that will shape who they will become. Her wise words spoke to me in the sweet, lyrical voice that was quintessential Hilary:

"...your greatest push over the plateau is your BRAIN - believe in the image you are moving to and your brain will make it so. Spend time thinking about the shape you are making so your brain knows what shape to make. Also you're gorgeous and deeply loving, so this is just extra perfection :)"

Isn't that neat and empowering? I just love what she wrote. I can believe in that. And because the image I see is much healthier, happier, and prettier, it must take time. It's also the same image God has for me too. He promises "...I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

So thank you Hilary - and God. I'm ready to power on...

Friendship Basket

We are almost a month to the day my father-in-law died (October 4) and the wreck (October 7) that will affect my family's lives forever. I am still in the midst of writing thank you notes for the outpouring of care and concern by so many friends around us. We have had more meals lovingly prepared than I could have ever imagined. Those nights we didn't have a casserole dish placed in the cooler on the back porch, we used one of the numerous gift cards we received to eat at local restaurants.

Cards and memorials are still pouring in from friends near and far, old and new.  Until you go through something so tragic, you just don't realize how much a quick note can mean.  (At least I didn't...)

S and J have also been taken care of by their friends and parents, taking them to their activities and letting them sleepover on school nights. One friend of S and his parents even made the hour and a half trip to Columbia for my grandmother's visitation.

One gesture that really touched Mike and me was a large basket we found on our back porch the night we drove back to Aiken that horrible night. It was around eleven o'clock and we had spent the past six hours shuttling ourselves between the children's emergency room with the boys and the Trauma Unit/ICU with Mama and Daddy. Mama was in emergency surgery with a neurosurgeon (no brain, but intense scalp injuries).

As we were driving that night, I received a text from my sweet friend Kiki:
"Just want you to know that Bunco girls and Sunday Class class are praying for your family. Look on your back porch when you get home - I left a basket of snacks, entertainment, etc for you to take to the hospital as you go back and forth with your mom and dad. It's from the Bunco girls. We love you and are so sorry."

And this is what we found. Both Mike and I teared up. (Ok, I cried.) We were just overwhelmed. We couldn't believe it. Kiki and another sweet friend, Tanya, had filled this huge basket to the brim with bottled water... magazines... Chapstick... snacks... Advil... pens... a notebook... gum... notecards... more snacks... tissues... travel toothbrushes... hand lotion... more snacks... and change for vending machines. These girls thought of everything!

I kept it in my car the next two weeks, replenishing my "hospital bag" every day. And every day, I thanked God for my friends and the gifts they have given me, both tangible and intangible. Now, I'm just ready to be on the giving end myself these days...

Viking in the House

This weekend was just what the doctor ordered. Lots of fun and festivities for the whole family: a family/neighborhood Halloween party Friday night, Fall Steeplechase all day Saturday, and our church's Fall Festival where we give out hundreds and hundreds of pounds of candy to families in our town. All four of us were kept extremely busy with wonderful friends whom have supported us these past few weeks with so much - including their unwavering prayers.

So many of you golden friends have messaged, emailed, commented, and Facebooked asking how we are doing. Although Mike is having to take this day by day, he wore his Viking warrior helmet at the Halloween soirée to show his strong side!

The Hijack

So here it is... My sweet friend has taken over. And isn't that what good friends do when it's just more than this "Steel Magnolia" can take? Read on for a glimpse into my life these past six weeks...

Hello, I am hijacking Bevy’s blog because I miss reading it as much as you do. I am her BFF, also named Beverly (yea, we know). Beverly and I are different in many ways – she is sweet and awesome, and speaks nicely all.of.the.time. I am snarky; talk like a sailor, and pretty much like to buck my fine southern upbringing. Actually we make a great team, and I just wanted to for warn you, because I am writing this and not Bevy.

As some of you may know, Bevy’s life had been turned upside down this summer. (a total s&^% storm!) I know she posted about her father-in-law’s brain cancer in early June. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning.

Her boys' biological father unexpectedly passed away in August. He was buried with a full military service, and I know that the boys had to be impressed and proud. It was a very nice service. I know, as I was there. S wanted his oldest friend, my son Michael, to be there with him.

A month later her father-in-law passed away from brain cancer. Bevy of course was super-girl taking care of Mike, the boys, and their losses. (She is really good at that, by the way!). But then to add to the tragedy, on their way home from the funeral, Bevy’s mother, father, grandmother and the boys were involved in a horrible car accident. She lost her grandmother, and her parents were both hurt badly; her mother the worst. The boys - by the Grace of God - were just bumped and cut up.

I made it down to Muz’s (Bevy’s grandmother, we all called her Muz- she was that kind of grandmother) funeral along with many other college friends. (The cross in the picture is from two of these dear college girls...) It was beautiful, as Muz was the perfect southern lady. She would have been very impressed with the visitation and reception, ham biscuits, finger sandwiches, cheese biscuits, and punch on one of those big pretty cut glass punch bowls. To be honest I kept looking for her there because it was an event she would not have missed. Her service was lovely. Bevy’s uncle, an Episcopal priest, gave the most wonderful homily, as did the Bishop. It really was a special day for a special lady.

Bevy’s parents are both home now and I know it will be a long road to recovery both mentally and physically for both of them. She has been back and forth helping with everything along with her sweet sister.

I know there are many more challenges they will all face, but they are one of the closest and most faithful families I have ever known.

Please keep them all in your prayers, and hopefully Bevy will get back to blogging soon, or I will have to guest write again. And I can assure you I am not nearly as uplifting and spiritual as she is.

Have a wonderful week and hug all the ones you love!!
Beverly – the other one.

Guest Blogger Alert... or Best Friend Rescues Blog From Oblivion

Today I received an email from my best friend:

"OK, so I know you have not wanted to blog b/c you don't want to keep writing about bad things, sooooo I wrote a blog for you. I know, not really my place but I know I am not the only one waiting to see you write again. I wrote all the bad stuff without going into much detail I hope, so you don't have to write it, and you can go back to your happy uplifting crap (I mean stuff : ). Oh, smile!"

She's right. I haven't posted - or even read blogs - since June 24. And for reasons that really have been too surreal and unbelievable. So she's hacking "It's a Golden Day". Thank God (and I do mean that literally) for her. I think I've said it before, but she is my rock. C*** and all.

Thankful for Today

Yes, it's still brain cancer. Yes, we are all still tired. Yes, my sweet father-in-law is still in a lot of pain. And yes, there is a long road ahead.

But we know God is so good. Mike's father is recovering amazingly well. He was released from ICU in less than 24 hours. The expressive aphasia that was so prevalent prior to surgery seemed almost nonexistent. He was able to (with assistance from the nurses and PT) stand, sit in a chair, and go to the bathroom. This was yesterday! The day after a four hour brain surgery!

Now we know he will have much to overcome. And so much work ahead. Speech therapy. Physical therapy. Chemotherapy. Radiation. He will have some successes and some set backs.

But I know that this would not have been possible without the prayers of hundreds of people all over the country. A friend on FB posted on my wall: "What a great cloud of witnesses you have around you...." I know that the only reason my FIL is doing so well is because of the immense amount of prayer that has been lifted up for him - and by so many of YOU. I am a true believer! I don't mess around! :)

I probably won't post much more. But I couldn't let today pass without a bit of happy news in this story. You needed to know... because you were part of the story. And I am thankful for today...

Martha has broken...

It was what we expected, but wouldn't admit. It was what we knew secretly in our hearts, but wouldn't listen to. Brain cancer.

(And please pardon the poor writing style. I'm still exhausted and in the "just the facts, ma'am" mode.)

Yesterday was probably the most emotionally draining day I have ever had. Mike and I didn't get home until after 11:00. We had been at the hospital for twelve hours. His father went in for surgery at 3:30 and came out about four hours later. The waiting was exhausting. My sweet mother-in-law couldn't eat. She had her hand on her cell phone waiting for the updates that would come every hour.

His wonderful neurosurgeon finally came out with the news that we cognitively were expecting. But you are never prepared. They took out 2/3 of a malignant tumor. They couldn't take out any more as it was too close to the "motor strip" of the brain. The cancer has spread down the temporal lobe. The good news is that it is primary to the brain and will not metastasize to other parts of the body. They are very optimistic that that can treat it with chemotherapy and radiation. We will know more in the next 48 hours and then more in a few weeks. He is now in ICU and will be for the next 24-48 hours.

Last night while we were waiting in the IVU waiting room, I finally cried. I finally broke. I hadn't since we found out about the tumor on Wednesday. I don't cry. Especially during crisis. That's because I am a "Martha". No, not Martha Stewart. Martha from the Bible. If you remember when Jesus visited the home of sisters, Mary and Martha, it was Martha who was constantly doing. She was the one taking care and making sure things were done - all the time. That was me this week: asking the doctor questions, writing down and clarifying everything he said, emailing reports to family and friends, Facebooking to request prayers - and organizing where S And J would be during all of this. And finally, being there for Mike. But that's how I cope - and that was the role I was needed to play.

We have received Facebook posts, emails and phone calls telling us how prayers have been lifted on our behalf and asking how/if we need anything. We have been overwhelmed with this outpouring. Of course we still do not understand why this is happening.

My 12 year old's observation makes me realize that, even in these times, we must keep a childlike faith: when I tried to explain the seriousness of the situation to him the night before last, he responded, "Yes, it is bad. There are always going to be horrible things that happen in our lives. BUT GOD ALWAYS MAKES SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN FROM IT, AND HE WILL THIS TIME TOO."

So I AM a princess... And I can prove it!

After days and weeks of the boys' baseball games, I'm trying to catch up on all my blog reading. Please know it is nothing personal... By the time we get home every night, it's all I can do to get everyone in bed for the whole thing to start all over again the next day.

But Friday was for me. I had a late morning appointment scheduled on the same day as THE wedding, so I was able to take the entire day off of school and enjoy every moment of sweet Wills and Kate's day drinking coffee in my pjs. For at least two to three hours, all of the world had a hope in love and a promise of what is true and good the world...

I continued celebrating into the evening as Mike and I joined many of our friends at a Royal themed gala and silent auction benefitting a local rehabilitation hospital. A cute friend and I took cues from the royal protocol that stated that all ladies were to don hats at the wedding. Not everyone did that evening, and we certainly were quite the standouts...


My attention to detail and protocol must have paid off. The big raffle of the evening was a stunning sapphire and diamond ring in the style of the Royal engagement ring. Albeit a bit smaller than Kate's, it was beautiful. You can imagine my surprise when my name was announced as the winner!


So, yes... when my husband calls me Princess, he's definitely correct. And I have the ring to prove it!

My New Friends Kate and Cassie

Don't you just love it when you buy or try something just because it's cute and it turns out to be just as cute yummy on the inside?

This week at Bunco, our hostess offered us quite a selection of reds and whites (in addition to scrumptious goodies). I am not a big white wine girl for the most part as white tends to "affect" me a bit more than it's red counterpart! So I took one look at this of bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot and knew this was the wine to try.


Just look at the black and white whimsical label! And look at that name Kate and Cassie! Don't they sound like they could be your best friends? "Hey Kate! Hey Cassie!" Even the back of the label reads "Kate and Cassie have been friends since they were small and have personalities as different as night and day. They have one thing in common... their love of wine. So from Kate and Cassie to you... Cheers!"

So I tried it. And I loved it! It was de-lish...

Today I got the biggest surprise. I was already a bit tired from the school week. I had my shoes off and was all curled up, reading on the sofa. Then my sweet friend Wendy (the Bunco hostess extraordinaire) called from her car to tell me she had something for me. A few minutes later she was standing at my front door, bottle of Kate and Cassie in her hand. Just perfect! What a dear friend!

So cheers to you Wendy! And thank you for introducing me to my new friends, Kate and Cassie!

The Christmas Card Album - 2010

Yesterday (or maybe a day or so ago) someone (forgive me for not remembering who!) tweeted the question, "What will you do with your Christmas cards?" Now I am a big fan of sending Christmas cards and send out close to 150 each year to family and friends. I am an even bigger fan of receiving them. And as far as I'm concerned, you have to give to receive. Now I know that with Facebook, Twitter, etc., I can see every breath your family breathes, every vacation, and special (or not so special) occasion with the hundreds of pictures people post. I can see how little Sally and Stan have grown. However, I love having that picture. You see, I save every card. I mean EVERY one.

Ever since 1999, I have kept a photo album of every year's collection of cards. I began this when S had his first Christmas. Every family is noted, and I try to put them in as approximately the same order every year. Of course, the cards we have received ebb and flow as we lose touch with some and gain other friends. However, I have pictures of many, many children and families without a gap for the past eleven years. I'm afraid I may run out of room in our second album this year!

S and J love looking through these two albums. We keep them in the living room. Sometimes they randomly grab them and flip back and forth to see how their friends and my friends' children have changed over the years. Some of these families they have never met in person as they live all over the country, but S and J feel a connectedness with them none the less.

One dear college friend lost her son last year. When I received the news, the boys immediately ran to the albums to see who it was. They were heartbroken (especially S, who was the same age) as they felt they knew him, his history, and his family.

I love that these cards are snapshots (no pun intended) of my husband's and my life. These friends represent so many aspects. These are friends from childhood, college, Columbia, SC (where I lived the first 36 years of my life), church, A**** (where we live now) - and now Blog friends. I treasure these albums and have included them in my mental "what to grab if the house catches on fire" list. I'm not kidding!

So I'm off to organize and catalog for Christmas, 2010. I'm so glad that some of you will be included as we shared cards this year! The rest of the undecorating can wait...

With these gifts, what more do I need?

My sweet friend Jessica just wrote a post on the ultimate gift: good friends. Oh how she is so correct! I have been blogging for about fifteen months now, and have met so many amazing women both online and in person. What gifts they are to me! (Some of them know me better than friends I have had for years!)

I am also blessed with new friends whom I have gotten to know since my move three years ago to A****. Some are from school, some from church, and some from the Bunco group I was invited to join a few short months after arriving.

And how many times have I had people look at me in amazement when I tell them that I have around 18 best friends from college? Yes, we have gotten together EVERY year since we graduated twenty years ago. This Connie weekend (what Converse College girls call themselves) is a "must have" for all of us every fall of the year.

My ultimate best friend - whose name is also Beverly!!! - came from this group of college friends. She was there during the darkest time in my life and was my rock. A second sister if you will. I don't know how I would have made it without her! We are now eight hours away... Thank goodness for phones and social media!

Finally, there is my sister. She is the one I go to for advice and just want to be with when on vacation or any other time. Yes, we've had ebbs and flows, but she's the one.

As I look at these Christmas cards I have displayed, I am reminded of how blessed I am with these gifts of friendship. I always have them surrounding this Nativity plate to remember that our Savior is the center of all of our relationships. I am amazed at how He has provided.

I'd love to include you in our Christmas friendship montage! I have a few extra cards ready to send out myself and I'd love to share...

No Tricks... But Bloggie Treats for Me!

I know today is Halloween and all, but yesterday was full of bloggie treats for me!  Yesterday was my town's Fall Steeplechase.  Much smaller and subdued than the full-blown soiree for the horse set (and just those who want to show off their new spring smocks and togs) in the spring, the October event is not quite as dressy an affair.  You see more jeans with dressy-casual tops for the ladies and khakis with polos for the men.

Yesterday we spent time at two spots.  The first was with the party we arrived, cute fun girlfriends and their families from my BUNCO group.  The second was with couples we knew from our Sunday School class.  Mike and I attend a VERY LARGE church in our town, and so our class is very representative of the size.  We know people in the class, but have never felt we really KNEW them.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, we decided to go visit their tent.

Oh my heavens... what did my rabid football fan of a husband discover when we made our way to the second spot?  Satellite television with the South Carolina/Tennessee game playing!  There was no turning back.  Some other husbands continue to hand him bourbon and cokes... Still no turning back.  South Carolina is playing well and is winning... Again, no turning back.  Whoo Hoo - we won!

Don't worry, I had fun too!  Look closely and see my latest Lilly purchase around my neck:  a cute gold turtle necklace purchased on the Nantucket trip!

But one of the highlights of the day was getting to know two fellow bloggers from my town even better.  Both were what I would call acquaintances from around town and our VERY LARGE church.  We knew each other's names.  Our husbands knew each other.  But that was about it.  Enter blog world... and, well you know what happens when I get to know fellow cute bloggers!  I HAVE to get to know them better... even if it means flying up the eastern seaboard to do it.  This time all I had to do was go to a horse race!

So without further ado, let me introduce them to you!

Aundrea, from The Road We're Own, is a precious girl.  She is an amazing mom to four children, has a true heart for God, and knows how to have fun in most everything she does.  I love her sense of humor - pretty dry, like mine.  Another plus is that her husband can mix quite a drink on demand...  that, I really love!  I have loved getting to know her both through her blogs and quick convos at our club pool over the summer.  With this girl, I look forward to lots more fun events together!

Monica, from Monica's World, is another mother of four - boys!  We have lots of fun talking about the antics of those testosterone-y creatures.  This chick is the most amazing writer.  She too has a heart for God and shares both her faith and everyday life events with honesty and humor.  If you haven't read her, you must!  She has chronicled the pregnancies and births of each of her boys in such a way I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face! 

These girls know I am making these introductions... so please take a look at their blogs!

Hope you and your goblins had a wonderfully spooky Halloween!

What Happens in Nantucket...

It all started innocently enough.  Five women from different parts of the east coast meeting on blogs.  I know that when I started blogging almost exactly a year ago, I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into.  All I knew was that I knew another girl who blogged, I read hers, and said to myself, "I can do that."  Following, commenting, and blog rolls were not in my vocabulary.  But after a few posts, Jessica began commenting and following... then Gabi... then Mama Henley... then Katherine. And I began following theirs too.  Blogging and commenting led to Twitter.  And it was on that fateful night that we were all making snarky comments while watching the Golden Globes, a friendship we were not even anticipating was born.

We began emailing each other - all five of us at the same time.  I wish I could remember who it was that suggested that we meet.  Guess it doesn't matter.  But we all were excited.  After more emails, the date and place were finalized.

Nantucket, September 2010

I secured my plane ticket in May.  There was no backing out.  It was happening.  The moment I saw and hugged Gabi at Logan Airport in Boston, I knew it was going to be great.  And almost two hours later, we met up with Jessica and Katherine.  (Sweet Mama Henley was not able to join us.  Oh how we cried when we read her post.)  The four of us squealed, screamed, and hugged each other not as if we were meeting for the first time, but as dear, old friends.  And then the talking and laughing commenced... and didn't stop until we left on Sunday.

 Gabi mixing bloodies on the ferry to Nantucket.

Of course we had to compare the new edition 

with the tried and true...

(Yes, I brought BOTH editions!)

 Jessica showing Flat Stanley 

(from Jackson's class project) how to cook.

Yes, she was our chef extraordinaire for the weekend!

 At the brewery... 

This evening really warrants a post all its own, but I just can't resist. Of course we walked  in as if we owned the place.  The place was packed, full of earthy preppies (mostly women) all in name tags.  Hmmm... Lots of Patagonia and madras.  And, hey, look over there.  Hmmm... quite a few golf bags.  Oh, this must be an after party for a golf tournament.  Hmmm... the girl Gabi asks to take our picture, thinks she is the photographer for this soiree.  Numerous other things made us go Hmmm... But hey, "it takes all kinds" as my mother says, and we are having a ball!  Good drinks, good friends, good fun... and then the icing on the cake:  Ms. Madras shorts jumps up on a table, raises her glass, and announces to the gathering, "Let's give a toast to Melissa and Jennifer and to the life they will lead together."  You guessed it, we crashed a lesbian wedding.  Big fun!

Many other stories happened on our Nantucket weekend.  We giggled throughout, saying, "What happens in Nantucket stays in Nantucket!"  But between the four of us, I know we'll share more with you throughout the next few weeks.  I laughed so hard my face hurt at times.  I shared so deeply, more than I might share with people here in my own town whom I feel pretty close to.  I learned so much about each of these women:  their successes, their worries, their delights and their passions.

Here we were on the ferry leaving Nantucket.

 Jessica and Bevy

 

Gabi and Katherine

And here the four of us were right before we all said Goodbye.

It's Time for Me to Get Packing

It's that time... time to get the suitcase out and start packing! You see, in just TWO days I will be spending a glorious long weekend with three blog friends on Nantucket. (Of course we will miss sweet Mama Henley who is not able to join us!!!). We five women have formed a friendship online and via emails and Twitter that we are all so excited to cultivate in person. And what better place than Tickled Pink Talk's family home on Nantucket. Entertaining Mom and Pink, Green and Southern will be there too, and I can't wait to see their precious faces in person! I can't wait to laugh! I can't wait to walk on the shore (although this southern girl says "beach")! I can't wait to learn more and more about these amazing women! I can't wait to drink fancy girl drinks! I can't wait to laugh! (Did I mention that already?) No worries on whether or not we will be posting. Between all of us, do you think that would be possible for at least one of us NOT to?

Of course I will not be flying up alone. I do have a little traveling buddy. My son, J, is sending Flat Stanley along! Hope he doesn't mind a little light reading on the plane..


Bevy

How Many Times Have You Said This?

"I'll keep you in my prayers." or 
"I'll be praying for you."

How many times have you said this to someone and then failed to follow through?  I admit that I am guilty.  I know I have said it and genuinely meant to do so.  I really did!   Most of the time I do pray, right then, right there (albeit silently).  But, again, I am guilty...

Prayer changes lives.  It alleviates the hurting through tough times.  It provides hope for restoration.  And prayer battles the enemy.  That's why prayer is not a casual promise.

Just today, I found out a sweet girl I team taught with last year is experiencing complications with her pregnancy (due April 1).  Jessica has been told not to go back to work until she meets with a "high risk pregnancy" doctor on Thursday.  I told a few other teachers about this and how worried I am for her.  IMMEDIATELY, one of them said we should stop right then, hold hands and pray for her.  And so we did - right there in my classroom during our planning period.  What a beautiful prayer it was!  An African-American woman, her deep, rich voice resonating with the strong faith she had, prayed for the healing and safety of Jessica and that precious baby.  What a testimony:  She didn't just agree that we should pray for Jessica.  She did it, right then and there!

Am I saying that every case warrants this beautiful story?  No... I just need to remember that the gift of prayer is powerful.   Not a casual gift... a meaningful gift... a powerful gift.

Everyone Needs a Little Happiness Handbook

HAPPINESS HANDBOOK for 2010

Health:
1.       Drink plenty of water.
2.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and 

           dinner like a beggar.
3.       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and 

           eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4.       Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5.       Make time to pray.
6.       Play more games.
7.       Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8.       Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9.       Sleep for 7 hours.
10.    Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11.    Don't compare your life to others. 

          You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12.    Don't have negative thoughts on things you cannot control. 

          Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.    Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14.    Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
17.    Forget issues of the past. 

           Don't remind your husband with his mistakes of the past. 

           That will ruin your present happiness.
18.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 
          Don't hate others.
19.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
20.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21.    Smile and laugh more.
22.    You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
23.    Call your family often.
24.    Each day give something good to others.
25.    Forgive everyone for everything.
26.    Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 and
           under the age of  6.
27.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
28.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
29.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. 

           Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
30.    Do the right thing!
31.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
33.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
35.    Remember that GOD heals EVERYTHING.