Sometimes the Most Horrible People are the Most Wonderful Ministers

It's funny how something that once gave me such joy and fulfillment became a chore and burden.  It's been almost three years since I last wrote.  I felt that what was going on in my life with the tragedies that surrounded my family were sucking any creative juices out of me.  I was stalled.  Plus, "It's a Golden Day" is supposed to be golden, right? I wasn't golden.  I was tarnished.   And this year has been no better.  My husband was hospitalized for almost six weeks for a ruptured gallbladder and intense infection that would not go away.What with his Freidriechs Ataxia, the recuperation has been hard. And just who wanted to read about that anyway?

I guess some people do.

I just returned from my annual beach trip with 14 college friends. (Actually, my third post five years ago was about these phenomenal women.)  Some of whom - although we weren't the closest in college - have now become my dearest friends and confidants. We spent the weekend eating, laughing, crying and spending the evenings playing that game "Cards Against Humanity: the game for horrible people".  If you've never played it, it REALLY is horrible.  So horrible that we took out all the cards about God and stuck to the cards with words we had to look up on the internet.  But we laughed so hard and learned so much!  And I love those horrible people!

Over the course of the weekend, a few mentioned that they missed reading my blog. They mentioned specific posts that spoke to them.  They told me how some stories still resonate - and mentioned them by name. One told me that it ministered to her.  Others agreed that my blog was a ministry.

Whoa now.  Ministry? This was supposed to be a silly "Mom Blog".  Pictures of my children. Family events. Recipes. And even a little frivolous, self-absorbed, materialistic "interest pieces" thrown in for good measure. I don't write those women's ministry blogs.  I minister to others through my blog? I don't know about that. I feel very unworthy about it.  If you complimented me on a party I threw or a great lesson I taught or the colors and patterns I have in my living room, I could accept that very easily.  But if you compliment me on how I've handled a situation or that you think I've done something with grace or selflessness, I find that hard to swallow.  Because I don't feel I've done anything at all. I don't feel worthy of such words. Because I can be very unlovable at times.  I can be sullen.  I can be tired.  I can be irritable. And someone who is selfless or graceful doesn't act that way.  But I am a broken, sinful and prideful person. I just think I'm human, doing what anyone would do if God gave them the same situation.

And it was ME who was ministered to this past weekend. These women inspire me to grow closer to Christ and to strengthen my relationship with Him. Never take my eyes off of Him. They don't know it, but they are not only my friends, but my mentors. They are wise counsel and they know exactly what to say.  God gives them the words - exactly what I need. And I love them so much for it.

So it seems we all have a ministry to use for each other.  In this crazy world we call our life.  We all have a gift to share. We all have something to offer.  Even when we feel so unworthy and imperfect. We all minister to each other with the richness that others see. And I guess I'll start back with mine...

Guest Blogger Alert... or Best Friend Rescues Blog From Oblivion

Today I received an email from my best friend:

"OK, so I know you have not wanted to blog b/c you don't want to keep writing about bad things, sooooo I wrote a blog for you. I know, not really my place but I know I am not the only one waiting to see you write again. I wrote all the bad stuff without going into much detail I hope, so you don't have to write it, and you can go back to your happy uplifting crap (I mean stuff : ). Oh, smile!"

She's right. I haven't posted - or even read blogs - since June 24. And for reasons that really have been too surreal and unbelievable. So she's hacking "It's a Golden Day". Thank God (and I do mean that literally) for her. I think I've said it before, but she is my rock. C*** and all.

The Christmas Card Album - 2010

Yesterday (or maybe a day or so ago) someone (forgive me for not remembering who!) tweeted the question, "What will you do with your Christmas cards?" Now I am a big fan of sending Christmas cards and send out close to 150 each year to family and friends. I am an even bigger fan of receiving them. And as far as I'm concerned, you have to give to receive. Now I know that with Facebook, Twitter, etc., I can see every breath your family breathes, every vacation, and special (or not so special) occasion with the hundreds of pictures people post. I can see how little Sally and Stan have grown. However, I love having that picture. You see, I save every card. I mean EVERY one.

Ever since 1999, I have kept a photo album of every year's collection of cards. I began this when S had his first Christmas. Every family is noted, and I try to put them in as approximately the same order every year. Of course, the cards we have received ebb and flow as we lose touch with some and gain other friends. However, I have pictures of many, many children and families without a gap for the past eleven years. I'm afraid I may run out of room in our second album this year!

S and J love looking through these two albums. We keep them in the living room. Sometimes they randomly grab them and flip back and forth to see how their friends and my friends' children have changed over the years. Some of these families they have never met in person as they live all over the country, but S and J feel a connectedness with them none the less.

One dear college friend lost her son last year. When I received the news, the boys immediately ran to the albums to see who it was. They were heartbroken (especially S, who was the same age) as they felt they knew him, his history, and his family.

I love that these cards are snapshots (no pun intended) of my husband's and my life. These friends represent so many aspects. These are friends from childhood, college, Columbia, SC (where I lived the first 36 years of my life), church, A**** (where we live now) - and now Blog friends. I treasure these albums and have included them in my mental "what to grab if the house catches on fire" list. I'm not kidding!

So I'm off to organize and catalog for Christmas, 2010. I'm so glad that some of you will be included as we shared cards this year! The rest of the undecorating can wait...

With these gifts, what more do I need?

My sweet friend Jessica just wrote a post on the ultimate gift: good friends. Oh how she is so correct! I have been blogging for about fifteen months now, and have met so many amazing women both online and in person. What gifts they are to me! (Some of them know me better than friends I have had for years!)

I am also blessed with new friends whom I have gotten to know since my move three years ago to A****. Some are from school, some from church, and some from the Bunco group I was invited to join a few short months after arriving.

And how many times have I had people look at me in amazement when I tell them that I have around 18 best friends from college? Yes, we have gotten together EVERY year since we graduated twenty years ago. This Connie weekend (what Converse College girls call themselves) is a "must have" for all of us every fall of the year.

My ultimate best friend - whose name is also Beverly!!! - came from this group of college friends. She was there during the darkest time in my life and was my rock. A second sister if you will. I don't know how I would have made it without her! We are now eight hours away... Thank goodness for phones and social media!

Finally, there is my sister. She is the one I go to for advice and just want to be with when on vacation or any other time. Yes, we've had ebbs and flows, but she's the one.

As I look at these Christmas cards I have displayed, I am reminded of how blessed I am with these gifts of friendship. I always have them surrounding this Nativity plate to remember that our Savior is the center of all of our relationships. I am amazed at how He has provided.

I'd love to include you in our Christmas friendship montage! I have a few extra cards ready to send out myself and I'd love to share...

A Weekend at Connie's

This past weekend I spent four glorious days with fifteen dear friends at the beach. Yes, you read that right: fifteen. (And around eight could not make it.) We've been doing this for almost twenty years now. It started the Labor Day we all finished Converse. Though some of these precious women may not know this: we have my mother to thank. The summer after I graduated in 1991, she suggested to me that we get together at our house at Pawley's Island to catch up and reconnect. Over the past years, our group of Connies (what Converse girls/women affectionately call themselves) has gotten together almost every year at one location or another: Pawley's, Camp Rockbrook in N.C., Cape Cod, and for the majority of the later years, Murrell's Inlet. How blessed we are to have these wonderful places to choose from!

But really now, it never has even truly mattered where we were. This is the year we all turned 40. At first we thought of the most amazing weekend we could plan to celebrate the Big 4-0. Plenty of ideas were proposed, including spa packages and the like. We all just realized that we didn't even care: we just wanted to be together.

I can't even begin to explain our weekends - or our friendships for that matter. I am beginning to feel my eyes water as the emotion builds. When I think how much these women mean to each other, I am overwhelmed. It continues to amaze me that I have a support system out there completely removed from my day-to-day life. None of these women live in Aiken. However, I know that they are only a phone call (or Facebook post LOL) away. These women will drop what they are doing and be there when needed. I've witnessed it.

I only see these women once a year. And yet, we pick up exactly how we left off. It can get incredibly hysterical. Just a few bottles of wine, a trashy magazine article (not from our staples of Southern Living, Real Simple, or Traditional Home), and the "Atomic Fart" application for an I-Phone, and we are all rolling on the floor. Here are a few other highlights:

We learned how waxing isn't just for women anymore. Apparently (and according to previously mentioned magazine article), the male species is beginning to enjoy the "benefits" of waxing their privates. I just can't make myself say "waxing their balls" -- OOPS! I said it! Yes, it's true...

There are many fun applications one can put on their I-Phone. There are large bulbous batting eyeballs you can put over your own eye. Farts you can record yourself. A WHOO-HOO button that I dared my friend Laura to set off when her minister says something really inspiring during his sermon. And the Facebook app is just to die for. My piddly Treo can't hold a candle to the Almighty I-Phone. Yes, I admit it. I do covet it.

The best advice on bras, panties, and summer reading come from your friends - especially when they model/show them. (But remember, we are 40 - not 20!)

The best possible way to go on a sunset boat cruise is to dress up and wear really big, dark sunglasses. Remember that a sunset is VERY bright - especially over the Black River. Carrying about 3-4 cameras between everyone is is good idea too. The more pictures taken, the better. Two or even three of the same group of girls makes no matter. Make sure there is lots of wine and yummy hors d'oeuvres. Also, your hostess's sweet daddy, driving the boat is important too. Thank you Mr. Johnston! All these factors are important, because when you head back to the marina, people will stare at you and wonder who the important people are on the boat. And face it, sometimes we all love a little attention!

Pictures of children and family are never boring. Remember, we see each other only a few times a year if we are lucky. And even though FB and Shutterfly are great, there is nothing like holding photos in your hands and having a happy mom gush about how proud she is of her children. And we are always so shocked at how grown-up everyone else's kids are. Like we expected them to just stop growing?

Captain Morgans is very, very YUMMY.

Improv dancing is certain to be the next big reality show. Putting on trashy hip-hop that someone's husband put on her I-Pod as a joke is the premier background music for dancing "Life Changing Moments in a Woman's Life": getting your period, turning 21, first marriage, giving birth, second marriage. You go, Liz!

I am laughing now... so re-energized from the time I've had with my Connies. I love you all so much and realize it more with every year. More musings to come...

(AKA NAZ-T)