Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, February 1, 2015

One Month Checkup

It's been exactly one month since my 2015 The Best is Yet to Come post. And (until I don't feel motivated to do it anymore - or just plain forget) I thought I would give you an update every month. If only to keep myself accountable. When you present you weaknesses to the world once why stop there?

Renewing Myself
I'm pretty happy with the way this is progressing. Yea me! I've lost 15 pounds, thanks to Weight Watchers Online. I am addicted to the app and don't feel the need to attend any meetings. In fact, I loathe those things. I weigh every morning and have seen an ever so slight change in my face and hips. I'm even staring to like what I see in the mirror. I also have a goal date and weight of the first week in April. Our Disney Cruise! We went two years ago and I can't wait to compare the pictures from this vacation to that one.


Rededication to My Family
After writing, I shared my thoughts about this with my husband. I'm not sure he quite gets what I'm talking about. I told him that just being there is not enough. Going to Jackson's basketball games is not enough. Being in the same room is not enough. And although this is the age where it is very common, the boys think we need to be around other people to have fun. That's one reason for the above mentioned cruise. We are not traveling with any other family. It's just us.

And... Refocusing on My Passion
Well I thought this would be the hardest, but maybe it's not. So far, this is what I figured out:


Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 The Best is Yet to Come...



Happy New Year! A time of Renewal. Rededication. Refocusing.  And I have three things I really need/want to channel my energy on:

Myself
My family
My passion

Myself
How vague is that? I'm talking about physically. I have never been a petite person. I think the smallest size I have ever been is an 8. And I really don't want to be that small, because I was that size about ten years ago and my face looked all wrinkly and gaunt - even at age 35! I just want to be healthy and feel good about myself. I want to not feel so tired. I want to not feel ugly. I want to want to have sex with my husband. (That's probably too much information. I think he's amazing, handsome and wonderful, but when you feel ugly, it can deeply affect your drive.) I want to believe him when he says I am beautiful. Now I'm probably going to have lots of people comment and say, "Oh Bevy, you ARE beautiful! You have such a beautiful _____." And that's all lovely and kind and sweet and supportive... bleh, bleh, bleh. But if I can't feel it myself, then...  

So I've decided (just like last year - ugh!) to make a change. Last year I was really on a roll until Mike's "Gallbladder Explosion Diet". Although he lost weight (and lots of it, I might add), I ceremoniously failed. And I never got back on track. But this year I'm starting back, with the help of my school's "Biggest Loser" competition throughout May. The winner gets a bill ol' wad of prize money as well. I have a pretty competitive streak and I do. not. like. losing. (And my husband will reap the benefits too!)

My family
I'm not quite sure exactly where I'm going with this. I just know that we are all pulled in a million different directions. And when each of us finally do come down to land, we crash and isolate ourselves - and I am probably the most guilty. My iPad has become an appendage. Granted I am not always surfing Facebook, Pinterest or the net. I am cropping photos, or organizing lists and recipes, or reading on my Kindle app or e-magazine, or finding second grade resources on Teachers Pay Teachers, or... And my husband is constantly looking at sports scores and researching trends for upcoming games. Sumter is on Twitter. Jackson is on Instagram. Or they are texting their friends. 

This fall has been a bit rough. Both boys have made some poor choices and this concerns me. I don't like being evasive. Neither are involved with drugs or drinking. Nothing illegal. Just bad choices, and neither seem to understand (or care to) why said decisions or choices are wrong. I am beginning to see that this gray, amoral world is influencing them more than I realized. And this is with Bible studies and youth group! My husband and I thought we were engaged. Obviously we need to be more. More with the boys - and more with each other.

My passion
This is interestingly enough the hardest one to even realize - much less commit to. I am in a funk. Not unhappy - just in a funk. It's really hard to write this, but I really don't have anything in my life right now that gives me intrinsic joy. I was talking to my husband about this: He brings me joy. Our sons bring me joy. My sweet puppy, Maggie, brings me joy. Jesus brings me joy. I enjoy my job. But what else? What is it that makes me want to get up in the morning? What excites me more than anything? I just don't know. But I am committing 2015 to find out.

So there you have it. Renewing myself. Rededication to my family. And refocusing on my passion. Here's to 2015!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Visiting Hours in Heaven

I was thinking this morning, that it was only one week ago that we had the "historic" snow of November 1, 2014.  I wondered if I would even remember it next year and thought how I don't even record many events on my calendar anymore as Facebook seems to serve as a virtual scrapbook of all important happenings in our lives.

I was in the shower (of all places) as these musings occurred and my mind was immediately taken back to my Muz.  As my uncle mentioned in the homily he preached at her memorial, she would have written *SNOW!* in all caps in her calendar.  It would have been an exciting day.  She would have called us all to make sure that we looked outside.  (Embarrassingly enough, we either would have let the voicemail pick up or we would answer more out of obligation than anything else.) Everything with Muz was that way. There was anticipation that something wonderful was going to happen - no matter how insignificant the moment seemed to those around her.

And it was as I was standing there - in the shower - that I really cried for the first time in three years over the death of my grandmother.  The water poured over me as I shook, my face in my hands.  I thought of all that has happened since October 7, 2011.  Little insignificant things in the whole scheme of life: Mike and I giving our testimony, Sumter getting glasses, Jackson changing schools, my "haven" (a new room off our bedroom just for me), Sumter playing on drumline, Jackson's three-pointers in his basketball games, Maggie, Sumter's baptism, Jackson's braces, my new Explorer. She hasn't been here. And she would have seen these insignificant events, instead, with such anticipation and excitement and joy. But she hasn't been here. I can't even tell her about them.
And that makes me so sad.

It's strange how when someone dies, all the things that made you completely crazy just don't matter anymore.  Because she really did know how to drive all of us crazy with her warped sense of reality sometimes.  She could do and say the most "out there" things. (No, she didn't have dimentia or Alzheimers.). Things that would make us shake our heads.  Things that could hurt our feelings. Things that she thought were perfectly logical and appropriate, but were completely out of the realm of reality.

But that doesn't matter anymore, because I know where she I right now. And I'm not being all cliché.  I really do know where she is.  She was not perfect.  I just know where she is because of her faith.  A faith and relationship with Christ that really didn't blossom until she was about 70-years-old.  It was around that time that she was born-again (even though she would never use that term).  So even though I miss her incredibly.... and even though I wept this morning, I know where she is.

But still...


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Giving Thanks - Part I

This Thanksgiving will be bittersweet. This year, three people who are important to members of my family won't be here. The boys will not see their biological father. They have not mentioned anything about it, but it has been on my mind. Even though the two of us have had a tumultuous relationship over the past few years, he was still their father. Mike's father won't be here to play the role of patriarch at the family Thanksgiving, always the consummate host. There will be a huge hole in the celebration. And finally, my sweet Muz is celebrating with Jesus and making sure that the Thanksgiving table in Heaven is set "just so"... But she won't be with us, and I know my mother will be so affected.

Even so, I have so much to be thankful for. I've been meaning to write about how God's hand was such a part of those few days from October 4th through the 7th. Days that could possibly only be described by someone as a nightmare. Yet there were so many glimpses of His presence, His Holy Spirit moving among us, His unexpected - and unexplained - gifts and blessing.

Yes, this will be one of Bevy's infamous Two-Parters. As we all are, I'm in the midst of preparations for tomorrow's big feast. But I am excited to be able to share those moments, those obviously Holy (and not it so obvious) moments with you. So later this weekend, I hope to give you an inspiring read.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Walking in...

When I walked in I was completely unprepared. I didn’t know what would greet me. I didn’t know how I would be affected.

When I entered the sunny apartment, the first thing I saw was the old mahogany Imperial styled chest with all the family photographs in a mix match of silver and Dollar Tree acrylic frames. Homemade cards and pictures from her great-grandchildren were in a little pile. An antique clock silently ticked.

My eyes scanned her home and saw the dichotomy of beautiful silk draperies on the living room windows beside the tacky peacock feathers displayed in a vase she bought at a garage sale. The silk print of the last Dowager Empress of China above the handmade camelback chest from Afghanistan with the “made in China” (and not in the good way!) oriental lamp on it. The exquisite Victorian mahogany and horsehair sofa she had upholstered in the most God-awful light blue striped velvet we know she got for free somewhere. The corner cabinet with all her sterling and fine china serving pieces - and the Christmas china my sister and I had thought she gave us, but later she decided she hadn't and wanted back! (Anne Stuart and I are still confused over that...) Her mink wrap and elbow length white kid leather gloves next to her seventeen million pairs of Keds in every color and pattern imaginable. The sterling silver tea service and water cooler on the small dining room table – right beside a cacophony of holiday, cocktail and party napkins she would "rescue" (not used of course) from a luncheon or event where she was a guest so she could use when WE came to visit. It was so her and I was completely unprepared… and I sobbed.


This past weekend I joined my sister, aunt and uncle, and their daughter to clean out Muz’s apartment at Still Hopes. (You may remember my post about the lovely residence.) We started the weekend with shared tears as we talked about her last days and the numerous happy memories we had. We wanted the weekend to not just be about packing up all her belongings (and sorting “Good Will” and “throw away” – there were over fifty bags!). We wanted the day to be one that honored her and what she meant to us. My dear Aunt Laura, who, at times, had a tumultuous relationship as the daughter-in-law, asked if she could lead us in prayer that the weekend would be a blessing for us all. And oh, how it was!

We told stories as we’d find old books she read to us as little children and pictures of Christmases from years ago. We laughed as we’d find old newspapers - and programs from events she’d attended in 1983. Boxes and boxes and boxes of old church bulletins… invitations… Christmas cards from people whose names we didn’t even recognize… receipts from presents she’d bought us through the years… papers and old photographs from "the war" (better known to rest of us as World War II)... drawers full of recycled Christmas bows and wrapping paper… bags and bags of packing peanuts. But that was so Muz: frugal and a product of the Great Depression. How many pieces of recycled tin foil and Ziploc bags we found in her kitchen cabinets; the jelly packets and sugar packets and ketchup packets. The woman NEVER THREW ANYTHING AWAY. You’ve heard of functioning alcoholics? Muz was a functioning hoarder. You’d never know it from the way she kept her lovely apartment!

We finished, exhausted yet blessed, Sunday afternoon. In addition to the wonderful time reminiscing with my family, we each left with some items Muz had designated especially for each one of us. I was so excited to carry the silk print and camelback chest, as well as a mahogany pie crust side table.

But it was earlier that day when I was cleaning out her medicine cabinet and I hit the jackpot. Of all the furniture and other inheritances we all received, this meant so much more. I found two 45-year-old bottles of merthiolate she used to put on our cuts and scrapes when we were children. She would paint that orange liquid on one and blow on it “to take the sting off”. We would wince in pain and watch the “paint” turn that awful neon pink. What on earth was she thinking? But I was so thrilled to find these bottles. I ran out of the bathroom laughing and crying. It was a memory we all shared. It was so her... so Muz.


And crazy as it sounds, when I look at those two little brown worn out bottles, I feel the clouds that have covered our lives for the past few months dissipate. I feel golden days are coming soon…

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Hijack


So here it is... My sweet friend has taken over. And isn't that what good friends do when it's just more than this "Steel Magnolia" can take? Read on for a glimpse into my life these past six weeks...

Hello, I am hijacking Bevy’s blog because I miss reading it as much as you do. I am her BFF, also named Beverly (yea, we know). Beverly and I are different in many ways – she is sweet and awesome, and speaks nicely all.of.the.time. I am snarky; talk like a sailor, and pretty much like to buck my fine southern upbringing. Actually we make a great team, and I just wanted to for warn you, because I am writing this and not Bevy.

As some of you may know, Bevy’s life had been turned upside down this summer. (a total s&^% storm!) I know she posted about her father-in-law’s brain cancer in early June. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning.

Her boys' biological father unexpectedly passed away in August. He was buried with a full military service, and I know that the boys had to be impressed and proud. It was a very nice service. I know, as I was there. S wanted his oldest friend, my son Michael, to be there with him.

A month later her father-in-law passed away from brain cancer. Bevy of course was super-girl taking care of Mike, the boys, and their losses. (She is really good at that, by the way!). But then to add to the tragedy, on their way home from the funeral, Bevy’s mother, father, grandmother and the boys were involved in a horrible car accident. She lost her grandmother, and her parents were both hurt badly; her mother the worst. The boys - by the Grace of God - were just bumped and cut up.

I made it down to Muz’s (Bevy’s grandmother, we all called her Muz- she was that kind of grandmother) funeral along with many other college friends. (The cross in the picture is from two of these dear college girls...) It was beautiful, as Muz was the perfect southern lady. She would have been very impressed with the visitation and reception, ham biscuits, finger sandwiches, cheese biscuits, and punch on one of those big pretty cut glass punch bowls. To be honest I kept looking for her there because it was an event she would not have missed. Her service was lovely. Bevy’s uncle, an Episcopal priest, gave the most wonderful homily, as did the Bishop. It really was a special day for a special lady.

Bevy’s parents are both home now and I know it will be a long road to recovery both mentally and physically for both of them. She has been back and forth helping with everything along with her sweet sister.

I know there are many more challenges they will all face, but they are one of the closest and most faithful families I have ever known.

Please keep them all in your prayers, and hopefully Bevy will get back to blogging soon, or I will have to guest write again. And I can assure you I am not nearly as uplifting and spiritual as she is.

Have a wonderful week and hug all the ones you love!!
Beverly – the other one.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Cancer doesn't leave the room...


Where does it go? The days are flying by, and in a little over a week June will be gone. It's been incredibly busy... and surreal. Never mind the educational workshops I attended for over a week, or VBS where I am working with three-year-olds! A hulking elephant named brain cancer has been lurking everywhere. My 4*th birthday came and went, as did Father's Day.

We celebrated by inviting Mike's parents over for fried chicken and all the fixings. What with the cards and gifts, it would seem to be an ordinary Father's Day. But this year wasn't. Usually my father-in-law is looking around our home for something to do: an air filter to change, help the boys with the lawn mower, check some gadget or another. But this year he didn't. Usually our summertime meals with my in-laws involve him grilling hamburgers and steaks. But this year he didn't. Usually he is asking the boys about what they've been up too. But this year he didn't.

This year he walked in slowly with his cane and sat down carefully. His usual quick smile appeared tired. I don't think he said more than twenty-five words the entire visit due to the expressive aphasia that was caused by the cancerous tumor. I could see how it pains my mother-in-law. She puts up such a brave and strong front, carrying the conversations and going on... because what else can you do? What else can you do when the man you have spent forty-five years of your life with is battling Gioblastoma Multiforme (Stage IV) cancer?

What do you do? What do I do? What do I do when I have researched this brain cancer on numerous websites and they all say the same thing? (And what they say is just heart wrenching.) What do I do when my husband has NOT? What do I do when he is in denial (either by choice of not finding out more - or just by choice in and of itself)? Have he and his mother talked about what could happen in twelve to eighteen months? (They don't talk as much as my family does.)

I try to talk and open the door for conversation with her. And although I feel her strong shell is slowly cracking, I'm not sure she will confide in me. But that's ok. She and Mike's aunts are very close and I know they are there for her. But Mike and I don't talk about it in any depth at all. We just don't. And I guess I just have to honor that. Hello, elephant in the room...

So that's where I am... with a big ol' elephant in the room named brain cancer and he won't go away.

Bevy

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Thankful for Today


Yes, it's still brain cancer. Yes, we are all still tired. Yes, my sweet father-in-law is still in a lot of pain. And yes, there is a long road ahead.

But we know God is so good. Mike's father is recovering amazingly well. He was released from ICU in less than 24 hours. The expressive aphasia that was so prevalent prior to surgery seemed almost nonexistent. He was able to (with assistance from the nurses and PT) stand, sit in a chair, and go to the bathroom. This was yesterday! The day after a four hour brain surgery!

Now we know he will have much to overcome. And so much work ahead. Speech therapy. Physical therapy. Chemotherapy. Radiation. He will have some successes and some set backs.

But I know that this would not have been possible without the prayers of hundreds of people all over the country. A friend on FB posted on my wall: "What a great cloud of witnesses you have around you...." I know that the only reason my FIL is doing so well is because of the immense amount of prayer that has been lifted up for him - and by so many of YOU. I am a true believer! I don't mess around! :)

I probably won't post much more. But I couldn't let today pass without a bit of happy news in this story. You needed to know... because you were part of the story. And I am thankful for today...

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What a Relief!

This past Sunday, Mike and I got a little giggle in our Sunday School class. It really doesn't matter what the gist of the lesson was. What does matter was one of the verses we covered. Our class uses a DVD curriculum from Andy Stanley (Northpoint Church in Atlanta). He is an amazing teacher by the way. And before he mentioned this particular verse, he snarkily (in a cool pastor-ish way) that it was the one verse that would be perfect to introduce the Bible to a middle schooler.

Anyway, the verse of note was 1 Samuel 24:3 "He (Saul) came to some sheep pens along the road. There was a cave there and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were huddled far back in the same cave." YES, you read correct. On his way to find his enemy David, King Saul had to take a pit stop and use the bathroom! He "had to go"! Bwahahahahaha! The entire class was atwitter as we became middle scholars ourselves. How had I never heard this verse?!?!?!


Last night, Mike and I thought we'd entertain the boys at dinner with our discovery. We built it up as best we could without giving it away. We were so ready to share the Holy Book's potty humor. But to our ASTONISHMENT, J knew all about it! He knew the whole story! Saul... the cave... the "relief"... David and his men hiding in the back... how David had the opportunity to kill Saul but chose not to. He knew the whole thing! Oh. my. word!

After we got over that (second) shocking revelation, Mike, the boys and I did have a big ol' knee slap. We howled with laughter as S read the passage. J got his Bible out where it said Saul "had to go to the bathroom". Of course we giggled some more at that translation.

But the funniest part was J's response when I asked him how on Earth he knew this random story. His response: "It's from the Bible, Mom. You should read it!"

Monday, January 17, 2011

Say It... It Feels Good

It always amazes me how I can get inspiration from the oddest places. This evening Mike and I were watching How I Met Your Mother. In this particular episode "Last Words", Marshall's father dies, and he has to learn to cope with what he already admitted he was “not ready” for. And his actions prove that as he obsesses over such a minute detail of the situation he can’t control: he spends the half-hour obsessing over the last words his father ever said to him. In half an hour, he encompasses exactly what anyone who has ever lost someone too soon has felt for days, if not weeks and months, on end after the passing.


No, I haven't lost anyone dear to me recently. However, it really got me thinking. What was the last thing my father and I said to each other? It was Friday afternoon and we had a wonderful impromptu visit, just the two of us. I'm sure we told each other we loved each other when I left. My mother? Well, she called this morning when I was walking out the door to go to the gym. More than likely, I just told her that as I passed the phone to S. I have no idea what my last words were to my sister. I'm sure the conversation was fun, but what were our last words?

Right now, I know I have said Good Night and I Love You at least four or five times to the boys. Both S and J have gotten out of bed for one reason or another. Every night I tell them. And every night Mike and I tell each other - even if the evening has been a bit, shall we say, stressful. And much more often than not, we all say it when we leave each other.

So I guess I'm doing ok. But again, tonight really made me think. Thank you Marshall. We all need to...



Saturday, January 1, 2011

ATTAINABLE Goals... 8 is Enough!


Here I am on January 1, 2011. And I am blah. I am a bit numb. I am unmotivated. I am in a rut.

Oh, I had a lovely Christmas. My house was beautifully decorated. I entertained and was entertained. My family lit the Advent candle and sporadically (not good, I know) read from the Gospel of Luke. I acted the part... much like I feel I have been doing for the past few months. It's easy. But I'm just tired now.

Enter Sherrie at Organizing Diva. Well at least vicariously through her blog! She has just posted her goals for the new year. And I really like how she has organized them in ten ORGANIZATION FOCUS AREAS.


I'm calling mine 8 is Enough. Basically because that's about all I can handle!

1) Spiritual
2) Financial
3) Fitness/Health
4) Beauty
5) Home
6) Family
7) Personal
8) Menu Planning

She then lists just a few goals - not resolutions, but ATTAINABLE GOALS. I stress attainable because if not, then what's the point? So here are mine...

1) Spiritual:
*Be diligent in my prayer life. Pray for something SPECIFIC for my husband and children every day.
*Family devotion at supper at least 3-4 nights a week. We were doing really well with this but have fallen by the wayside.
*Pray with boys every night. Even when I am exhausted OR they have made me crazy!

2) Financial:
*Stop impulse buying!
*Start S and J's commission for chores again. Why did I stop that? It really worked.

3) Fitness/Health:
*Drink 8 glasses of water (or Crystal Light - that counts in my book!)
*Eat less processed foods
*Exercise
*Lose 5 pounds each month until I reach MY comfort level. This will be the hardest...

4) Beauty:
*Wash face every night. Yes, many nights I do go to sleep without taking my make up off. Not good...
*Pedicures monthly
*Brow wax every 6 weeks

5) Home:
*Keep better laundry schedule. Get back on track with boys doing their laundry once a week.
*Take clothes/items to Goodwill on the tenth of every month. I know I will have at least ten things each month!
*Take 15 minutes every Saturday to clean out a drawer or closet. Yes, ONLY 15 a week. You'd think this wouldn't have to be a goal!

6) Family:
*Bi-Weekly date night with Mike. I know I should strive for weekly, but I'm doing ATTAINABLE here!
*Bi-weekly Family night. Family movie, game, etc. The boys really do love this...

7) Personal:
*Call my mother and sister more often.
*Mother/Daughter/Sister overnight visit every 2-3 months
*Call BFF more often
*Read at least 4 books this year. I know this is pitiful...

8) Menu planning:
*Weekly menus
*Grocery lists
*Inventory freezer
*Inventory pantry I'm using Entertaining Kitchen's Well-stocked Pantry to help me with this!
*Clip coupons

So here I go. Now that I've put in some thought - and have posted it for the world to see... I think I am ready. I am also copying this and putting it on my bathroom mirror. Say some prayers...

Friday, November 19, 2010

Thanksgiving Tree

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is next week. I have seen all of your lovely autumn decor and have been so impressed. I've never done much in the way of decorating for fall - other than the jack o'lantern on the porch or a few mini gourds, pumpkins, and witches around. And we've never held Thanksgiving at our house. Until NOW.

This year we will have Mike's family (totaling 18) over for Thanksgiving dinner. The venue was changed to our house as it has the best flow for that many people. Thank goodness that I am only responsible for yeast rolls and dessert. However, I want to have something festive on the table. And with Christmas coming earlier and earlier every year, tasteful Thanksgiving decor is all but gone. What to do? I want a pretty table. I need a pretty table. Isn't Thanksgiving all about the table?

Yes... But especially when the centerpiece is one that is all about Thanksgiving - the real meaning: gratitude. I found an idea online that combined the two perfectly. I'm sure you've either seen or made one yourself.

Here is what our "Gratitude Tree" looked like last week.

It is getting more and more leaves every few days as we write those things were are thankful for on them. Beside the tree, I have a basket with cut out leaves, black pens, and raffia. We have been doing this during our family dinner time devotion. A few things listed were our family, God, encouragement, great haircuts and color, my friends, a husband who texts me just to tell me I'm pretty and that he loves me, my wife, a son who helps clean the kitchen, and making each other laugh.

I can't wait to see it in all it's glory...

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Among the Pines Upon the Mountain

I feel like I've been so out of touch as I have spent a glorious week with my extended family at Kanuga in the mountains of North Carolina.  It is here that we get to live life more simply - and therefore, fully.  When people ask me what it is like, I tell them to think the resort from the movie Dirty Dancing.  There's even a talent show at the end of the week:  "The Kanuga Follies"!  My family has spent part of every summer for the past thirty years in Cottage 3 right on the lake.

There is no air conditioning, but that doesn't matter.  The temperatures stay in the low 80s most of the time.  The breeze off of the lake whispers through the pine trees. The porch swing in this 1909 cottage creaks in motion of whomever is sitting in it. 

Kanuga is reminiscent of old times.  The Monday of each week holds a square dance, and even the coolest of coolest teenagers grab their mother or grandmother's hand and swing her around the parking lot.  The same bluegrass band entertains every year, playing and calling the same songs and dances.

Hikes around the lake are treats for Sumter and Jackson, and I love walking behind them, listening to their conversations.  The mountain laurel and ferns are everywhere with a heavenly smell that, I swear, is only at this blessed place.



Friday, June 25, 2010

We Know Our History - Part II

So I was a bit on my high horse on Wednesday.  I know that... So I hope you will oblige me in the story I am about to share.

This past Sunday, my parents (Mimi and Ge-dad) attended a funeral in the Low Country of South Carolina.  The man who died was Deacon Morris Peeples, Sr.  He was 99-years-old; had a wife, 8 children, 42 grands, 34 great-grands.  This fine southern gentleman grew up on Hatiola, what used to be an old cotton plantation.  It has been a part of his family's history for generations.  The home in which he died overlooked the ocean of cotton fields that are still planted (and played in by generations of children - including my own boys).

But Morris was not the owner of Hatiola.  Morris's grandfather was a slave on on the plantation.  Sumter's god-father is the current owner, having had it passed down in his family since the mid-1700s.  What is left of it, after General Sherman marched through the area, includes what is known presently as the "Big House", home of the Hatiola Hunt Club. God-father Robert has always said that Morris was like his second daddy and openly wept at the funeral.  After he sat down in the church, Morris's family went over to Robert and led him to sit with them.  He was part of their family.

This is a picture of Morris "returning thanks" as he did every year before the big meal of the first big hunt of the season.  He always had the seat of honor on the front porch of the "Big House" and would thank his "Father God" for the many blessings He had bestowed on all of us.

He was the only black man there (except for a family member who drove him over the 100 yards or so from his house) in a sea of white families.  But no one saw the difference.  No one talked of "that old black man" on the porch.  Instead, one would see parents whispering down to their children of the amazing character and intense faith of this almost hundred-year-old man.  They proudly introduced them to Mr. Morris.  They were telling their young boys to look up to this man.  Ge-dad would take Sumter and Jackson and say,  "Sons, this is a true gentleman.  Listen to him."  My boys would shake that old, gnarled hand and look intently.  Did they see color?  Probably, when they were very young.  But as they got older, he was just Mr. Morris, whom everyone loved and respected.

The Hatiola Hunt in which Morris was an honorary member brought him together with men whose Southern roots were intertwined with Morris's - including my father.  He was a sage - a man whom his (white) brothers and their sons in the Hatiola Hunt Club sought out for wisdom, as well as a zest for living.

My mother was almost in tears when she shared the events of the funeral with me.  Both blacks and whites poured into the church.  The family set aside an entire section for members of the hunt club.  These men and their families were special and important to Morris and his own family.  And when Robert went up to speak, he spoke of his "second daddy".  Was Morris's family insulted?  No... in the program Robert was listed as one of Morris's sons.  Another prominent gentleman, a white judge, spoke as well.  Interestingly enough, the judge's last name was Peeples (like Morris).  He talked about how the two of them always joked that they were cousins.  At the repast, for which many of the men from the Hunt Club fixed the food, my mother spoke of  the hugs (big and powerful) between everyone. Colorblindness abounded.

As Morris was remembered during his funeral, in his life one found a person with the love for people that was so infectious that it drew to him the young and the old, black and white.   One found a person who would do anything for you and for whom you would do anything for.

And that, my dear friends is the way the south is. We are more colorblind than you may think.  And we are probably a whole lot more honest with each other, regardless of race, than perhaps in other parts of the country.  I think this is because we know our history.  We know that everyone else is looking at the "elephant in the room", i.e. racism in the south.  Is it still here, you bet.  Unfortunately, I know it is also everywhere.  But here, we tend to look at individuals.  We tend to look at relationships.  Relationships like that of Deacon Morris Peeples, Sr. and all of us.



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tuesday's Kitchen Inspirations


I have this little easel by my coffee pot.  It is Proverbs 24:3-4.  Glancing at it each day reminds me that as my husband and I continue to build our home for our family, we must continue to grow in Wisdom.  Not the wisdom we all have to know what foods are healthy for our children to eat.  Not the wisdom to keep our cars and sprinkler systems maintained.  Not the wisdom to help our children with their homework.  We must grow in the Wisdom that is of God.  This Knowledge (Wisdom) sustains my family... and our home.  And everyday, I see its rooms filled with the rare and beautiful treasures.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Tuesday's Kitchen Inspirations

This picture was taken this past Saturday evening at my father's 70th birthday party (this post).  However, today is actually the big day.  Here is G-dad (pronounced Gui-dad like the French Gui) with his four doting grandchildren, my two boys and their cute cousins.  This is already in a frame in our kitchen... therefore, a Tuesday's Kitchen Inspiration!


G-dad is a rather unusual name, I know.  As the oldest, Sumter was the one who came up with it.  (I too was the oldest grandchild, and I had the honor of "christening" my grandmother Muz... even the great-grands call her Grandmuz!)  My father is also named Sumter (see this post on how we are ALL named after relatives, both dead and alive!).  And his father was named Sumter.  We called him "Grandaddy Sump".  When my Sumter was a baby, my father wanted to carry on the "Granddaddy Sump" tradition (goodness gracious, we don't like to break with tradition in my family, do we???).  Anyway, that is quite a mouthful for a toddler, and anything Sumter couldn't say, he called Ya-ya instead.  So guess what Sumter called my father?

I suggested that "Granddaddy Sump" was a little more than he could handle... why don't we try "Grand-dad" and work our way towards the desired moniker?  We tried it.  And Sumter took one look at his grandfather and said, "G-dad".  Not quite what my father was looking for... but when asked how he liked being called G-dad, my father would laugh and, with a twinkle in his eye, answer, "Well, it sure beats Ya-ya." 

We think G-dad fits you perfectly and couldn't imagine any other name for you... You are the one and only.  We love you G-dad!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

A Weekend with Two Special Treats!

Most of you know that the boys have been away for the past week.  Yesterday, I picked them up at my mother's (they had been dropped off there... not really important enough reason why to explain!).  As I got out of the car, Sumter ran out of the house, wrapped his arms around me, and surprised me with,
"Mama, why are you so pretty?"

Sumter with
 his cousin  whom he adores!

And when sweet husband came home from the Masters
this evening, he had a surprise for me too!
 (This is the no lipstick look...)
 

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tuesday's Kitchen Inspirations

 
So this watercolor isn't really in my kitchen, but I can see it in the great room from my kitchen sink!  And it does so inspire me and make me smile as it reminds me of that wonderful Saturday we get to experience every March.  Some of you may have already seen it from yesterday's guest blog Mind Your Manners' Monday: People with Disabilities at Entertaining House.  And I read so many sweet comments on it.  Thank you for being so receptive!  And thank you, my dear friend Jessica, for your support!

We love the Aiken Steeplechase in late March.  The weather is always so lovely with a gentle breeze and the azaleas beginning to bloom... I'm getting spring fever right now, just sitting on my front porch in a rocking chair, laptop in my my lap. Steeplechase is the perfect time to get out the Lilly skirts and Jack Rogers sandals.  Mike always wears a pair of loud (AKA obnoxiously preppy) pants... or shorts if the weather is warm enough.  One year, it was Lilly's pink and green giraffes.  Here, we have a classic and subdued (LOL) patchwork.

The boys love the races and have so much fun running around passing the hat for the bets on the horses.  I don't think we are contributing to the delinquency of our sons!

I love the beautiful tables and flower arrangements the women prepare.  The silver (or Mariposa) trays full of chicken salad sandwiches and fresh strawberries.  (You know I will blog about it later!)

And Mike... he just loves a good bourbon and coke!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tuesday's Kitchen Inspirations

In reading more and more blogs, I have noticed that many of you cute girls have a weekly "thing" that you share each week.  I know you are all so excited and are waiting with baited breath to be inspired with a new fabu recipe to share with your family.  But I am not a gourmet... and though I do enjoy it, cooking does not inspire me.

This does.  I have pictures all over my kitchen, as that is where I spend most of my time.  I add pictures.  I switch them out.  I add more.  Some are in acrylic frames.  Some are clipped to the bulletin board.  Some are on the fridge.  I love these pictures and the people in them!

So... every week, I will share one photo that is a
"Kitchen Inspiration".

 
This is my sweet Aunt Laura (Aunt LaLa to the kiddos) a few 
summers ago at our family's annual week at Kanuga, 
in the mountains of North Carolina.
She is the best... My sister and I loved her so much as little girls
and so do our children! 
I absolutely love this picture of her, Sumter and Jackson 
and their sweet little cousins.  
They were playing "band" and were having so much fun.  
My two were in shorts and Masters and Edisto t-shirts 
(typical boys)... 
Look at my cute nieces in their matching 
monogrammed dresses and monster grosgrain bows! 

Inspired...

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Musings a Few Days After Christmas...

I honestly have been too busy/tired these past few days to even look at blogs, let alone write anything.  The husband and I have been chugging those $2.50 energy shots.  I am NOT KIDDING!  Traveling back and forth to Columbia on Christmas Eve and then back again on the 26th for my family gatherings, and then Christmas Day in between with my husband's family at our house (20 total) makes Bevy a tired girl!  So now I am catching up, still in the pjs and drinking coffee out of my new Lilly travel mug - oh, so cute!  (No, we didn't make it to church.)  The boys stayed overnight in Columbia with my parents so that their grandfather can take them out to the county to shoot their Red Rider bb guns this afternoon.

So I sound like I am complaining... I'm not.  I love our Christmas traditions.  As you can read in my December posts (and some of November), I absolutely love this holy season.  We are so blessed to have my husband's family here in Aiken.  And my family is only a little over an hour away.  Oldest son, Sumter, said, "This was the best Christmas ever!"

But youngest son, Jackson, summed it up best in a "journal" entry he wrote Christmas morning:


Funny how our children are able to say it best...