It's been a pretty hard week at Chez Bevy and I have not been really in the mood at all for blogging. The only thing I have even been able to think about is how J was
cut from his football team. I am so mad and have quietly cried (without him knowing it) for the past few days. Because J's birthday was
three days before the cut off date, he was not able to play on the team with his peers. He had to tryout for the older division with boys both older (some by two years), bigger, and more skilled than he is. This "pee wee" football division has not had tryouts before and decided to this year. (Tears are even forming in my eyes as I write this - I am so upset.)
I get competition. I get it. I really do. But I also get the fact that sportsmanship, team/player loyalty, and concern for the whole child was the primary vision for the organization -
last year. At least that is what we were led to believe. I see now that winning is the primary vision. I just sent the administrator a respectful and polite email telling him how my husband and I feel. We are not trying to get J back on the team. Right now I
would rather have my eyeballs plucked out really don't want him to be a part of it.
Earlier last week and at his request, J and I prayed about the tryouts and asked for God's direction and what HE wanted. My wonderful husband pointed this out after we got the devastating news: maybe it was a blessing, and that playing football is not in God's plan for J this year. I
have to keep that in mind...
On the up side, J has taken up golf this summer and wants a new golf bag for his birthday next month... I think God must be a golf fan!
Oh Bevey I know how your heart aches for him. As hard as it is sometimes, since you prayed about it, we have to trust that him being a part of the team was not to be right now. Since the other boys are bigger and older the chance of him being hurt or not getting to play at all was much greater. I know this still doesn't help the hurt and disappointment he feels right now but time will heal and the new golf bag will definately help!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Robin
So sorry, Bevy. That's so difficult to handle and understand. It hurts for the child, but as a mom, I understand how you feel, too. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this and wished you lived here. We are part of a wonderful league that allows everyone to play and still instills the competitive spirit in the boys. Better yet, they openly praise God for giving each child his unique skills. As your husband pointed out, perhaps God has better plans for him -- like golf -- at least it's far less dangerous. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSo hard for mom and son! Maybe golf is the the thing, though I have to say the nicest kids my son ever played sports with were on the track team. He resisted joining it til the last semester of his senior year in HS and then regretted all the years he spent on the tennis team (where it was every one for himself).
ReplyDeleteI have tears in my eyes reading your post. Oh, the disappointment! And I know that one day, I'll probably have to face a situation just like this with Alise. My heart is breaking with yours!
ReplyDeleteOh, bless your heart. I do not look forward to the school days down the road that will spell disappointment for my child. I feel bad when she gets disappointed that we've missed "Elmo's World!" LOL
ReplyDeleteBut you are right to have the optimistic outlook that this is all part of God's plan & that there are other paths for your son to explore this year. Good for you for keeping that open mind! Admirable!
SIGH! So sorry for your frustration! I have been holding on to something similar with my daughter and reading your post assured me HE has something else in His plan for her as with J. I'm going out to get her a golf bag too!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Bevy. I AM so sorry. We had a similar situation with 6th grade basketball. I know the pain of this disappointment. I trust God has even bigger plans in store for J (despite the fact that we need to really re-evaluate kids sports in the States).
ReplyDeleteLove & Blessings,
Kim
Oh, Bevy. You poor, poor thing. Our children's heartbreak hurts us so much more than it hurts them, doesn't it? God does have a plan and I suspect he has even bigger things in store for sweet J! I know you know this and I also know that right now your heart is breaking and for this I am so, so sorry.
ReplyDeleteGod must be a golf fan! He enjoys sports that less likely to cause bodily harm. :) I think it's great that J has taken up golf. Those carts are so fun to ride around in. He and Mr. can play together at Cedar Creek. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about the football team and I COMPLETELY agree with you. I hate that teams like this make it hard to teach our children how to be good team players and the concept of sportsmanship.
Can't wait to hear more about J's budding golf career. FORE!
Oh Bevy I am so sorry to hear that. Ben is in 6th grade and he had tryouts for his football team for the first time this year. Hugs to you and J!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this--one of my sons was cut from a high school team after he'd been led to believe he had made it (was even measured for his uniform!). It was so hard, but we all recovered; he went on to make the team and play (under a different coach!), and I bet J will have another go with football. In the meantime, know that golf will be fun; and I betcha God is a golf fan!
ReplyDeleteBev
ReplyDeletein your area of the state you have great jr golf. Go for the golf! It was a great sport and the friends we made all over the state by playing jr golf. Also we have great tennis. We are from Myrtle Beach and both my boys know so many people all over the State of SC because of our travels. Golf is hard and requires brains and athletic ability. Do not cry another tear! You are a great Mom and just let it go! The great thing about boys is that they move on!
Ugh, exactly the reason I have not let my J become part of our town football program! Golf it is for us too!
ReplyDeleteSOOOO sorry for yours and J's disappointment. :(
That is just awful, esp as his Mama!! Golf is a wonderful sport...and you only compete against yourself!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Bevy. I have seen this sort of thing more than I care to admit. I do not like what youth sports has become....it is all about winning and the coaches are the worst sometimes. We have had some good ones too but we sure have had some poor experiences as well. I get SO spitting mad sometimes because these kids are SO young...they are not developed yet. it is about trying out various things and seeing what you might be good at. how can they do that if they are not even given the chance at such a young age?
ReplyDeleteI can feel your hurt ~ after many, many years in sports I think I've seen it all. It makes me so mad when I see adults behaving like spoiled rotten children rather than nurturing adults. I get the whole competitive thing ~ I grew up with it {my dad was a head coach} in my home as well as on my own teams. When we moved to CT I just about pulled my son from the team because of the "ethics" or lack thereof that were being taught. I didn’t for the simple fact that I believe once you join something, you see it through to fruition. For what it's worth, it's not just you and your son, it happens everywhere. I know that doesn't take the sting away.
ReplyDeleteJo
Bevy, I'm so sorry to hear this. Yes, sports competition can be a wonderful thing, but when situations like this happen, it's beyond frustrating. You never know, this could be the window that opens on golf, a sport in which he may thrive. Or a path to another activity. I'll keep your little guy in my prayers. Hope the weekend brings happier times.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that, Bevy. In middle school, there were no try outs for cheerleading and football so everyone did it! We have sixty cheerleaders, and it was wonderful, because it gave everyone the chance to be a part of something they might have been intimidated to try out for initially. I am thinking of J!
ReplyDeleteOh Bevy, bless your heart!!! I remember my brother not making the basketball team in one year in high school. He was upset, but my daddy was livid! Well, my brother ended up taking up golf and became a VERY good golfer and went on to win numerous tournaments over the last 30 years in the South! He also became a junior high and high school basketball coach and had the privilege of coaching and mentoring many young people in his 30 year teaching/coaching career! (((Hugs)))
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