Saturday, September 18, 2010

Are They Really Just Words?

In raising our boys, Mike and I work hard (as ALL of us do!) to instill morals and values that will carry them throughout their lives. We want them to grow to be men of character and conviction to know what is right. As a teacher, I have the same responsibility for them. I shared this story of a conversation I had with S just a few nights ago.

He wanted to know why some words were bad. He wasn't talking about racial slurs or outright vulgar words. He was primarily talking about cr** and su***. Aren't they just words? No. They are trashy. They sound horrible coming out of an adult's mouth, and even worse coming out of the mouth of a child/tween. We don't say those words. Period. (OK, I may let cr** slip out, but I'm mostly a "damn it" kind if girl.). It seems that both those words are in the vocabulary of almost every middle school student in the country. He said it made him feel weird to say "crud" and "stinks". And that sometimes he slips when he is around his friends. I was so proud that he told me that - that he confessed. He shared. And I told him how proud I was.

I asked him if anyone ever teased him. He said no, that no one really seems to notice. I asked if he was losing friends. He said no, that he was making even more friends in his new school and always had people around him. Do all your friends use that language? No, he met a new kid named J whom he really likes who seems to have parents "who believe a lot of the same things as you, Mom".

So, things are fine. But I gave him a bit of advice that is really the crux of what I told my students.

Pretend Mimi or GrandMuz are with you all the time. If you would want them to hear it, then say it. If not, then you know what to do.

If only we would all remember to do that...



  1. Excellent advice. I remember my mother teaching much of the same. She also thought "nerd" was a horrible word. As a high school teacher I hear so many words coming out of the mouths of teenagers in the hallways. I cringe when I hear these words exit their mouths and know the words have become too common for them.

  2. Great advice! You are such a great mama, Bevy!

  3. Words worth sharing. Some of those same uglies come out of my kindergarteners mouths!


  4. Well said, Bevy! I like the idea of having them keep their grandmothers in mind - boy, that would certainly have an impact on my kiddos!

  5. I know you aren't going to like this, Sweets, but sometimes when I am out with girlfriends, I like to cuss. I swear I think that it is because I always have to worry about setting such a good example for the kids. It is part of letting my hair down, I guess :)

  6. ...guilty! Not BAD, but sometimes "not very nice" will slip from my lips with friends, but I really believe NEVER in front of the children! The "S" word in our house was "Stupid" or "shut up", the "D" word was "Darn" and the "F" word was "FART" .....ALL WERE BANNED!!!

  7. Great advice. I am guilty of using cr** too often. I really try to catch myself and usually do but not always (like in the car!) These words really do sound ugly coming out of our mouths. My daughter is only 8 so I don't have too many problems with her but I am sure the day will come..

  8. great advice for sure! I fear I say a few 'iffy' words and a gentle reminder for me and advice to pass on to the kiddies is much needed

  9. Such an important lesson, I need to remind myself as much as my kiddies


Thanks for your sweet comments... They make my day just that more Golden!